The Girlfriend
by ucsbdad
Summary: In which our ruggedly handsome hero meets a blonde. And Kate doesn't mind. Much. And a kiss is just a kiss, as time goes by. Or is it? But, Kate finally talks to Rick. However, talking is not enough. But, a decision is made at last. Sort of. And, so it's Caskett for now, but we haven't seen the last of Sue. Yes! Rick loves Kate!
1. Chapter 1

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: How much of Castle do I not own? All of it. Rating: M Time: AU Season three, beginning near the end of Poof! You're Dead.

**Author's note: In a video clip I now cannot find, Stana suggested it would be interesting if Castle got a girlfriend. From her hairstyle it was in the earlier seasons.**

**CHAPTER ONE**

"Hi. Is Rick Castle around?"

Kate Beckett looked up from her paper work. The questioner was a cop, the badge and the sidearm told her that, but she wasn't dressed like most cops. She wore painted on hot pink pants and a cropped tee shirt showing her flat stomach below and a lot of her large boobs above. Her wavy blonde hair seemed to swirl around her pretty face, even though she wasn't moving.

"He's around someplace. Detective…?"

"Oh. Sorry. It's the get up, I guess. Detective Susan Keane, Vice. My working clothes." She gestured to her outfit. "I just reported to the 12th a couple of days ago. I'm still trying to find my way around."

"Why do you want to see Castle?" Kate was mildly curious.

The woman smiled like she meant it. "He was a huge help on a case of ours. A little girl was kidnapped, but the perp left behind a medal on a chain. Castle recognized it as a modern reproduction of an ancient Greek coin. He knows a guy, and to make a long story short, the coin is given to members of an ethnic Greek social club. And so we caught the guy. I wanted to thank Castle."

Kate shrugged. "Well, I guess Castle's not pain in the ass all of the time."

Detective Keane's smile faded. "Because of Castle an eleven year old girl will be going home to her parents and won't be tied up in some pedophile's basement. I'd say that's a hell of a lot more than not being a pain in the ass." She said coldly.

Before Kate could apologize, Susan's face lit up with a smile. "Ricky! Over here!"

Castle joined the two women. "What's up?"

"We caught the guy. Rachel Mobley is fine. The docs said we got there in time. She'll be at the hospital overnight, but she'll be fine with some therapy. Come on. I'm taking you to Remy's for a burger and a beer." She took Castle's hand and started pulling him towards the elevator.

Castle looked at Kate. "You've just got paperwork, right? You don't need me."

Kate shook her head. "No. Go enjoy yourself." She smiled at him as he left. She did notice that Susan was still holding his hand when the elevator doors closed.

"So, Castle's met Black Eyed Susan." Espo said, turning his chair around.

"That's her?" Ryan added. "I heard about her. She is nice. Very, _very_ nice."

"Black Eyed Susan?" Kate asked, curiously. "I'm sure her eyes were grey."

Espo laughed. "She got the nickname when she was a uniform. It's what put her on the map, so to speak. She was out running in Central Park early one morning and saw some goon trying to drag a little girl into his car. She didn't have her piece, but she called it in and went to help the girl. By the time backup got there, she had two broken fingers, a broken nose, a tooth knocked out and two of the biggest black eyes you ever saw. But she was still hanging on to the perp with a death grip. From then on, she was Black Eyed Susan."

"It looks like Castle has a new girlfriend." Ryan said, earning a glare from Espo.

"Oh, I think Castle's evolved beyond the blonde airhead." Kate said dismissively.

"She's no airhead." Espo said. "She got her degree from NYU in three years even. And she double majored in police science and psychology."

"Actually, she's been teaching classes on how to handle rape victims at various hospitals in the Tri-State area. She does that on her own, it's not paid for by the NYPD." Ryan added.

Kate nodded. "Well, let Castle have a good time with her then. We have paperwork to complete."

Kate was the last one of her team to leave that night. As she stood to leave, she pulled a bouquet of fake flowers out of her sleeve and threw them in the trash.

She had just entered her apartment when she got a phone call from Josh. "Hi, Babe. Still three days until you're back?" She asked in a low sultry voice.

"Kate, I'm sorry. We've been inspecting rural hospitals here in southern Mexico and they're a lot worse than anyone thought. It'll take me at least another ten days to finish up and then I'm scheduled to go to Mexico City to talk to some people in the Ministry of Health. But I swear, I'll make it up to you."

Kate didn't let her disappointment show. "That's okay, Josh. What you're doing is important. I understand that." Kate heard someone yelling in the background.

"Sorry. I have to go. We'll talk later."

"Bye, Josh." But she was talking to herself. The phone had gone dead.

Kate poured herself a glass of wine and took down one of Castle's books that she'd been reading. But she couldn't concentrate on the story. She finished her wine and put the book away, deciding to go to bed early. She stood in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. "Okay. So I don't have a date tonight and Castle does. It doesn't mean a thing."

The next morning Castle put her coffee down in front of her. But before she could thank him or sip her coffee, he picked it up again. "Sorry. I just tasted mine and it's cold. I'll warm it up in the microwave in the break room." He grabbed the coffee and disappeared, then returned. "There you go. Nice and hot now."

"Did you have a problem on the way here?" She sipped the coffee.

"No, but I stopped to talk with Sue on the way up. I kind of lost track of time."

"You talked to Sue Keane?"

"Yeah. She's really interesting. They have their own board down there just like we do. They don't call it a murder board, of course. She was just filling me in on their active cases. Very interesting. A lot different than homicides."

"Research?" Kate asked, with as neutral a voice as she could manage.

"Yeah." Castle said no more on the subject. "Next time I'll go straight to the microwave with your coffee."

_Next time? _Kate thought.

The day passed slowly, looking over phones and financials for all of their suspects on what had seemed like a routine murder. Finally, Kate had had enough and sent Ryan and Esposito home. Castle stayed.

Kate made a few notes for her report and looked over at Castle._ I should take him to Remy's myself. He has been so valuable. I should show him he's appreciated here._

"I think we're done for the night, Castle. We should…" Just then Castle's phone rang and she didn't finish her sentence.

"Hi." Castle said. "No, I'm just sitting here killing some time."

"No. No one, except Beckett."

"Okay. Two minutes then."

Castle hung up and looked over at Kate. "That was Sue. We're going to the Jade Pagoda for dinner tonight."

"The Jade Pagoda." Kate said slowly. "I've really wanted to go there. In fact, you said you'd take me some time." She tried not to sound too disappointed.

Castle nodded. "We'll go for lunch some time."

"Lunch?" _Keane gets dinner and I get a lunch?_

"If I took you to dinner, we might end up on Page Six. You have a boyfriend, remember? Josh? He wouldn't be too happy about that. In fact, you can ask Josh to take you. See, your problem's solved."

"Right." Kate said with a forced smile. _I do have a boyfriend, I suppose. It'd be easier to remember that I do if he was around, though. And I think I was just disinvited by Castle to the Jade Pagoda. _Kate realized she was being foolish. _I can't expect Castle to take me to the most expensive Chinese restaurant in Manhattan when I'm dating someone. _

The elevator door opened and Susan Keane walked in. Even Kate was impressed. Castle looked stunned. Susan wore a tight, light blue dress that was cut short and tight. She had stunning, well-toned legs and a great ass.

_My legs and ass are better._ Kate thought, then dismissed the thought. _Why am I comparing myself to her?'_

The dress was high necked, but slit down the front all the way to the top of her stomach. It was cut so low that it was obvious that she didn't have a bra on, nor did she need one. _Okay. She has bigger boobs than I do. So what? They're probably fakes._

"Hi, Ricky. "Susan said, putting both of her arms around Rick's arm. Kate could see that she was pushing one boob against his arm, then she rubbed it along his arm. "I'm all ready."

Castle nodded. "You certainly are." He looked down at her. "Wow."

Susan laughed. Then turned Rick around and headed for the elevator. She put her arm around his waist and he put his arm around hers.

"See you tomorrow?" Kate called after him.

"Night, Beckett." He said lazily. Then the elevator door closed.


	2. Chapter 2

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: And now a bit more of the Castle I do not own. Rating: M, eventually. Time: Season Three, after Poof, You're Dead and on into AU.

**Chapter Two**

Kate's mind went back to the previous summer when he had walked out of the precinct with his arms around another blonde, leaving Kate alone and unhappy. _No! I am over Richard Castle. I am so over that man. I am not jealous because he's dating another blonde bimbo. I have a boyfriend who's serious, dependable, and not some over aged frat boy who thinks with his dick. _She knew she was wrong. Susan was no bimbo and Castle was a good father, son and investigator. _He's my friend. I should be happy that he's found someone like Susan. Someone he can have a serious relationship with. _A thought came unbidden to her mind. _ I thought the problem with Castle was that he couldn't have a serious relationship with a woman?_

Kate began gathering her things to go home. _I am over Castle and I am not jealous. _

Kate didn't get her usual cup of coffee from Castle the next morning. However, it wasn't unusual for Castle to not come in if there was no active murder and only paperwork to be done. Kate made her own coffee in the break room and idly wondered how Castle had done last night. _The old Castle would have been salivating at the chance to get someone like Susan Keane in bed. But Castle's changed since he's been here. He's grown up. And Keane is no round heeled bimbo who'll fall madly in lust with Castle just because he's rich and good looking. I'll bet they haven't gotten past the good night kiss yet. That's good. A mature relationship is what he needs. _Something about that last thought bothered her, but she pushed it out of her mind.

Returning to her desk, she found she was out of pens. She thought about grabbing Espo's, but he'd probably blame Ryan and then she'd have to sort everything out. The supply room was only a few steps away.

Before she turned the corner to the supply room, she heard a feminine giggle and stopped dead. _Someone is making out. _She was curious, but decided to sneak away. Then she heard a voice.

"Ricky, you were fantastic last night." It was Susan Keane's voice, and Ricky could be only one man.

She tiptoed to the corner and peeked around. Castle had one hand on her ass and she was rubbing his chest. She was also nuzzling his ear and then moved to kiss him. It was a long, slow, passionate kiss. Kate blushed and quickly tiptoed away.

She decided she did _not _want to see Castle or Susan just then and hurried down to see Lanie.

Lanie was just pulling a sheet over one of her "customers." "Not one of yours, sweetie. This one died of natural causes. How's everything?"

"Fine." Kate said as happily as she could manage.

"How's Josh?"

"Still in Mexico, but he'll be back soon. I'm really looking forward to him coming back."

Lanie nodded and smiled. "I just bet you are. It's good that you found someone. You were so unhappy for so long."

Kate just nodded. _Yeah. And I'd be a lot happier if I had someone who was in the same country as I was once in a while. _She swore at herself. _That's so unfair to Josh. He's doing important work, not banging some blonde._

"And it's nice that Castle has found someone, too." Lanie said. "She's nice, really smart and knows a lot."

_I'll bet a vice cop knows all sorts of things. _"You've met her?" Kate made an effort to not sound too interested.

"Castle came in with her. One of her rape victims died at the hospital and they came here to see the remains. That girl is so smart. She could have been a doctor herself. She taught even me a thing or two about rape cases. And I thought I'd seen it all."

_I know she's seen it all. And I know who's showing it to her. _Kate stopped herself. _Why am I thinking like this? I am over Castle. I am over him completely._

Lanie went on. "And those two are so cute. Do you know that they finish each other's sentences? Just like you and Castle did when you were his part…" Lanie realized she'd made a mistake.

"When I was his partner? I still am his partner." Kate said angrily.

Just then Lanie's phone rang. She answered it as fast as she could, glad for the interruption.

"I'll let you get back to work." Kate said and walked out quickly.

Kate was just finishing up her dinner dishes when she got a phone call. She smiled when she saw it was from Josh. "Hi, lover."

"Hi, Kate. I have some good news. I'll be coming home the day after tomorrow. Things in Mexico City went much faster than anyone thought."

"Great! I'm really looking forward to having you around for a nice long time."

Josh made no reply.

"Josh? What is it?"

"There's bad news as well. The NGO wants me to go to central Africa for six months. I'll only be in New York for a few days until I have to leave. But, I promise, I'll spend every second with you. I should he in at about five o'clock, so make a dinner reservation at where ever you want to go. And make it nice. I have to make this up to you, right."

Kate smiled to herself. "I'll make a reservation at the Jade Pagoda. I've been dying for us to go there. Okay?"

"Perfect. I'll see you soon. I've got to go now. Love you."

"Love you, too."

Kate sighed after hanging up her phone. _This is one of the reasons I want to be with Josh, after all. He helps people in need. That's what I do as well. As opposed to Castle who…_Her train of thought suddenly stopped. _Castle has been helping me and that's helping people. I have no business comparing Josh and Castle. I'm just being silly. I'm with Josh and Castle is with Susan. I should be happy for both of us and I am. I don't know why I keep thinking of Castle. Really, he's not for me. I know that. Castle and I are oil and water, yin and yang. Yin and yang complete each other. Opposites attract. NO! Dammit. I am over Castle and that's it. _

Kate got to work that morning and found a hot cup of coffee on her desk, but no Castle. Since there was no active murder investigation going on, it was nice of him to think of her. After finishing her coffee, she decided to get another cup. As she got to the door of the break room, she suddenly heard Castle's voice as well as Ryan's and Esposito's. She stopped. _I shouldn't eavesdrop. I should go in and thank Castle for the coffee. _

"So what's dating Black Eyed Susan like, bro?" Espo asked. "Give us all the details. Are they real?"

Kate knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, but she was curious.

Castle laughed. "If you think I'm going to answer a question like that, Espo, you're dreaming."

Kate smiled to herself. _Castle is a gentleman. Espo should be ashamed of asking such a question._

"But dating Keane has got to be different than being with Beckett all the time, right?" Ryan asked.

"To begin with what Beckett and I do could by no stretch of the imagination be called dating, so there's no comparison. And, I don't have to put up with the endless snarky remarks that I get from Beckett. I can even mention Nikki Heat without getting into an argument. Sue actually likes Nikki, unlike Beckett. And I can give Sue a compliment without having it thrown back in my face for fear it's all some deep, dark scheme of mine to get her into bed. The difference is night and day. Night and day."

"So, will Rook dump Nikki for a hot, blonde vice cop?" Espo asked.

Castle laughed. "Sorry. No spoilers. If you want to find out what happens next, you'll have to buy the next book."

Kate heard the scrape of chairs in the break room. She did _not_ want to be standing there when the three men walked out. As she ran to the ladies room, she didn't hear Castle's last comment.

"Seriously guys, Nikki is the star of the series. She'll never be replaced by anyone."

Kate ran to the ladies room and locked herself in a stall. _He couldn't! He couldn't make some blonde vice cop the star of the books. My book. Nikki is me. He just couldn't. _Kate sat there and calmed herself down. _Of course he can. He's the author of the books. He can have Rook date anyone he pleases. It's not like I've ever made any effort to tell him how much I love Nikki, or that I think the Nikki Heat books are the best things he's ever written. Have I ever told him how proud I am to have had a character like Nikki based on me? How Nikki makes me want to be a better cop, a better person? Couldn't I have told him once that I'm proud to be his muse? Why, oh, why can't I just talk to Castle?_


	3. Chapter 3

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Not mine. No how. No way. Rating: M, eventually. Time: Season Three and on into the great AU.

**Chapter Three**

Kate heard the door open and two quick flashes of blue walked past her. Two uniforms had entered and were talking in front of the mirror.

"Jerry and I had a great time last night. It's really nice to date someone who's not NYPD for a change. So many cops seem to date only cops."

The other woman laughed. "Christ, Kris. Jerry's FDNY. And an EMT as well. He might as well be a cop. He shows up at the same places we do."

"Okay, but some cops manage to date out of the NYPD. Look at who that Detective Keane got. Richard Freakin' Castle! Looks, brains, a sense of humor and money. He has it all."

"I have to wonder how that homicide cop, Beckett, managed to sit next to him for years and never get interested. Is she gay, or something? Or just brain dead?"

Kris laughed. "The Ice Queen? She's married to her job. Busting the bad guys is all that one ever thinks about. You could put ten Castles down beside her and she'd never notice."

"Kinda sad."

"Pathetic is more like it. But look on the bright side. More men for us."

The two uniforms left. Kate sat in the cubicle for a good five minutes to make sure they didn't see her leave. Luckily, Castle had left by then and Ryan and Espo had to go provide a statement for one of the ADAs, so Kate was alone for the rest of the afternoon.

When Kate got home, she changed into her leathers and got her Harley out. She rode around to clear her head and ended up at Central Park where a concert was in progress. She sat on her Harley at the edge of the crowd and thought. _Those two uniforms have no idea what they're talking about. I have a great boyfriend, better than Castle. Sure, I was lonely for a long time, but I'm getting better. And I'll even admit that knowing Castle made me want to get out and have fun. But that doesn't mean I have a thing for Castle. Of course not. As for Nikki Heat, Derrick Storm ended and one day so will Nikki Heat. As do all fictional characters. But I should find time to tell Castle that I'm really pleased with her. I really need to do that. _ Feeling much better Kate drove home and began planning her date with Josh.

The next day both Kate and Rick were getting ready for dates. Both had other things on their minds and Kate never did get a chance to talk to Rick about the Nikki Heat books. _I have plenty of time. _She thought. _I'll talk to Castle after my time with Josh. We'll only have a few days together and I want to make the most of them._

Kate managed to leave the precinct early to go home to get ready. She spent an hour on her makeup and nails, combed her hair, got out her sexiest underwear and put on a new dress. _I'm ready. Am I ever ready. And I'm just as sexy as that Susan. Not that I care, of course._

A bit past seven, Kate heard a knock on her door. She smiled and headed for the door to open it. As soon as she did, the smile faded from her face. Josh was there, but in scrubs. And he was holding a plastic bag that smelled of Chinese food.

"I'm sorry, Kate." He said, giving her a kiss as he came in. "I just dropped by the NGO and they completely screwed up what I'll need for Africa. There are literally tons of things I need to get and get ready to be shipped to Africa. I told them I'd be back in two hours and that was an hour ago. I'm really sorry, Kate. This is all the time we'll have before I have to go."

Kate couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice, although she tried. "That's okay, Josh. What you do is important, I know." 

Josh put their food out on Kate's kitchen table and they had dinner. Josh kept checking his watch, which didn't make Kate feel any better.

Josh finished his dinner and pulled out his phone to tell the NGO that he was just about on his way.

"I'm really glad you understand about this, Kate. A lot of women wouldn't."

Kate nodded. "What I understand, Josh, is that this isn't working. Between our two jobs we hardly ever see each other, and when we do, we're so tired we can hardly do more than doze in front of the TV. I can't be your girlfriend for a couple of hours every few months, Josh. It's not what I want. I'm sorry. We're done. Over."

Josh nodded. "I'm sorry, too, Kate. This is how all of my relationships seem to end. But, this is who I am and what I do. I can't change." He leaned in to kiss her, but she moved away. "I still have a few things here. Just let me get them and I'll be gone."

Josh disappeared into her bedroom and came back with a few things wrapped in a tee shirt. "I hope you find someone, Kate." Josh suddenly smiled at her. "Maybe you should try to get together with that Castle guy. At least he's always around, unlike me." Josh walked through the door and out of her life.

Kate stared at the door for a long time after he was gone. "Yeah. I should try to get together with that Castle guy. Why the hell didn't I think of that?" She said sarcastically.

An hour later Kate showed up at Lanie's, having changed into more casual clothes.

"Sweetie! Why aren't you with Josh?" Lanie asked as Kate come in. Lanie looked closely at her friend. "I'd better get us some wine. You need a drink and you need to talk. Tell me all about it."

When Kate was seated with a wine glass in her hand, she did talk, finally. "I broke up with Josh. I just can't be an after-thought in his life anymore. He had an hour with me and now he's off to Africa for six months. I've tried to make allowances. I know what he does is important, but I'm important too."

"I know you are, sweetie. And you'll find another man. Someone who treats you right. I know you will."

"You want to hear something funny?" Kate asked. "Before he left, Josh said I should try to get together with Castle since Castle is always around me. A little late for that, isn't it?" Kate began to cry very softly.

Lanie hugged her friend. "It'll be okay. Everything will work out fine. You'll see."

"I just got off to such a terrible start with him. I resented him being around, bothering me. And when he stopped bothering me, I just had to push him away because I knew he'd break my heart and he did, and now he's got another girlfriend and I don't know what to do."

"Wait! You're talking about Castle? You've finally realized you should be with him?"

Kate nodded. "And I'm too late. He and that Susan are practically joined at the hip now."

"Kate, you have to tell Castle how you feel."

Kate shook her head. "I can't. I'm not the kind of woman who'd break up a couple. I can't do that."

Lanie hugged Kate again. "You don't have to break them up. But you have to tell him. He's been with you for, what? Almost three years now? He's there because he's interested in you, Kate. So, maybe he is deeply in love with that vice cop and it's too late, or maybe she's just someone to be with. But he won't know that he has to make a decision between you two until you tell him how you feel. As much as he's put into this relationship, as crazy as it is, he deserves to know how you feel. Talk to him, Kate. You have to talk to him."

Kate nodded and smiled. "I will. He does need to know. It's just that I've tried so hard not to admit to myself or anyone else how much I care for Castle. How badly I want him and need him. I feel like an absolute fool trying to tell him this now, when he's with someone else."

"Better than never letting him know." Lanie said softly to her friend.

Kate nodded as she hung onto Lanie. _How do I tell Castle _now_ that I do love him? How?_

But Kate's desire to talk with Castle had to wait. Another murder got in the way. And this time, Castle and Kate were there as a bullet tore through John Raglan.

Rick and Kate staggered out of her car, weaving and laughing. They had their arms around each other, supposedly to hold each other up. Kate couldn't help but be happy that Castle had his arms around her and she had hers around him. _I'll be doing this again. Damn! I've got to keep my eye on the _damned_ lookout. _

The thug stood there and watched them approach.

"He isn't buying it, Castle." She murmured under her breath, reaching for her pistol.

Suddenly Castle was in front of her and then his hands were cupping her face and his lips were on hers. She was stunned for a moment, then realized what he was doing. _He may be doing this to distract that goon, but that's not the only reason he's kissing me. I know that. He wants to kiss me. He wants it as badly as I want it._

Kate kissed him back, but then he stopped and pulled back. He had a look of longing and desire on his face and she was sure her face mirrored his. Then they kissed again, but this time Kate opened her mouth and invited him in. He accepted. Their tongues explored each other's mouths hungrily. Kate smiled as she kissed him as she could feel his erection. Her own nipples were growing taut and she felt a warmth and a wetness begin between her legs. She did keep one eye on the goon. _Keep watching. Keep watching us. I want this to go on. Don't stop watching us._

But the thug smiled and turned away. Kate drew her sidearm and smashed it into his head. The lookout dropped like a stone.

"That was amazing!" Castle yelled. "The way you knocked him out, I mean." He added. Unnecessarily, from Kate's perspective.

"We have to get to Ryan and Esposito." Kate said, heading for Lockwood's lair. _No. The kiss was amazing. And as soon as we're done here, I'm going to tell you just how amazing it was and show you just how amazing we can be together._

When the excitement was over, Kate checked on Ryan and Esposito, then went to check on Castle. She found him sitting in the back of an ambulance, having his injured hand bandaged by an EMT. When the EMT left, Kate got in the back on the ambulance and noticed that the injured hand was badly wrapped. She took Castle's hand and began to wrap the hand properly.

"Thanks for having my back in there."

Castle smiled at her. "Always."

Kate smiled back at him. _Now I just have to bring up the kiss._

But Castle spoke first. "Beckett, you know that the kiss didn't mean anything, right?"

**Author's note: This should answer the question as to whether Kate loves Josh, or perhaps not. But, at that time in canon Castle, I think Kate was trying very hard to love Josh and find her one and done. And who knows what may happen in AU Land? I once wrote a story where Kate became Mrs. Demming. Could we have Caskeane instead of Caskett? Or Beckison? Or would that be KaJo? Only time will tell.**

**Is Kate acting like a teen aged girl? Possibly. She had her life turned upside down at age 19 and built walls around her heart to keep from getting hurt again. It doesn't sound like she had a long term love interest in high school or at Stanford. Nor does it look like she had one after she became a cop. Royce? She said she loved him, but really? Will Sorenson only lasted six months, and Demming didn't last that long. Emotionally, I think Kate still may be quite immature. Possibly as immature as a teenaged girl. **


	4. Chapter 4

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Everyone who owns Castle, raise your hand. I didn't raise mine. Rating: M, eventually. Time: Season three, and on into AU.

**Chapter Four**

Kate was shocked but managed to control herself. This was not what she had expected. "What?"

"It didn't mean anything. I know you're with Josh and you know I'm with Sue. I know you'd never cheat on Josh, any more than I'd cheat on Sue. I didn't want you to get the idea that I'm putting some moves on you or anything. That's the last thing on my mind. The kiss was strictly to distract the lookout."

"It did." Kate said. _He cannot be saying this to me. He can't._

"And don't worry about us. As a team, I mean. I've explained to Sue that homicide always has first call on my services. It wouldn't be fair, otherwise."

"No. It wouldn't be fair." Kate said with as little emotion as she could manage. _I've never had a man kiss me, and kiss me like that, and then assure me that it meant nothing._

Kate was tired and depressed. She went home and after some tossing and turning, decided to call Lanie. Then she noticed how late it was and thought that seeing her in the morning would be a better idea. However, the next morning was spent at the scene of the murder of Jay Hixton, a lottery winner. Kate managed to remain normal with Castle for the rest of the busy day, but Lanie had already gone home by the time Kate got to the morgue.

Early the next morning Kate was waiting for Lanie when she arrived for work.

"How did your talk with Castle go?"

Kate shrugged. "We didn't exactly talk, but we did kiss."

Lanie threw her arms around her friend and hugged her. "You two finally kissed? And that's it? Did he at least try to grope you?" Lanie realized that Kate wasn't acting like someone who'd just been kissed by the man of her dreams. "What happened, sweetie? Did something go wrong?"

Kate explained the circumstances of the kiss to Lanie and how she had thought that she'd achieved a break through in her relationship with Castle. And then the let down when he talked to her about it.

"I don't think that in the entire history of kissing there was ever such a great kiss followed by such a complete let down. The kiss meant nothing to him. Nothing. And then he had the nerve to tell me that he'd explained our relationship to Sue and it's just fine with her. It's like I'm a piece of furniture to him." She imitated Castle's voice. "Sue, this is our murder board, that's my chair and that's Beckett." It's like I don't even exist for him."

Lanie thought about it for a minute. "Kate, I'm not so sure this is as bad as you think."

"I know. It's worse." A morose Kate shot back.

"No. Now just listen to me. You have never, ever, acted towards Castle as if you'd like him to kiss you. In fact, you've been just the opposite. It's like you have a big neon sign on that says, "No trespassing! This means you, Castle." So naturally the man is going to want to diffuse what he sees as your anger for kissing you ASAP. He's been following you around for almost three whole years now. To me, that means he wants a relationship with you. You just need to let him know that he can express himself to you without you taking his head off."

Kate nodded, but didn't look convinced. "You think so?"

"I know so. All you have to do is get him alone for a few minutes and talk to him. Someplace where neither of you can run away, and by neither of you, I mean you, Detective Beckett."

Kate nodded and smiled. "We have an active murder. I'm sure I'll be alone with Castle soon. I'll do it."

Kate walked back upstairs and saw a fresh cup of coffee on her desk. She could see steam rising from it. _He's here. I can't really talk to him in the bullpen, but we'll be somewhere we can talk soon. _She picked up her coffee and went looking for Castle with a smile on her face.

Her happy mood was dashed by the sound of a blonde laughing.

Kate walked over to the murder board. Castle and Sue were standing in front of the board. Her arm was around his and her head was on his shoulder. To make matters worse, she was drinking a cup of the same coffee that Castle always brought to her.

"There's something wrong with the way he got the money, Ricky."

"Because wealth does not change who you are, it just magnifies your personality."

"And his Florida financials don't show anything like his actions before he won the lottery."

"So why did he change?"

"Find that out and you've solved the murder, Ricky."

"You two are building theory on our murder board now?" Kate couldn't keep the anger out of her voice.

Castle shrugged as if it wasn't important. "Sue was just up here to see how we do things and wanted to help. We're all on the same team here, Beckett."

Castle's use of Sue's first name while calling her Beckett made Kate angrier. As she had always been able to do, however, she stifled her anger. "No. Of course not. I was just surprised, that's all."

Sue leaned up and kissed Castle's cheek. "I have to go now, Ricky. See you tonight?"

"Absolutely." Castle said with a grin.

Detective Keane smiled smugly at Kate. "Good bye, Detective Beckett."

_I'd love to kick your ass good bye._ Kate thought. _And I'm going to try to do just that, so don't think you've won this. Just give me a little time. Please, just a little time alone with Castle._

As Rick and Kate walked back to her desk, Kate noticed that she still had her coffee in her hand. For a split second she felt like spilling it on Castle, then thought of walking into the break room and pouring it down the drain. _This isn't Castle's fault. If I hadn't been so stupidly afraid, I could be his girlfriend right now. _She looked at her coffee and took a sip. Somehow it tasted more bitter than usual.

One thing or another conspired to keep Kate from getting Castle alone for a bit until they got a lead on Marvin "Oz" Osminkowski, a high end drug dealer who'd been supplying Jay Hixton's daughter, Nicole with drugs.

Kate and Rick were going undercover at a club where Oz was alleged to be working. Kate had dressed very carefully to project a party girl image. As she drove Castle's Ferrari to the club, she kept a surreptitious eye on Castle. _He's trying not to, but he's checking out my legs. _As she shifted, Kate made sure that her skirt rode further and further up her long legs. _He should just about be able to see my panties now. Go ahead, Castle. Have a good look. I know you want me and you know you want me. All I have to do is let you know how much I want you and we'll be together at last. And no blonde is going to keep us apart. I know it. Please, let this happen. I need him so badly. I can't lose him now. _

Once inside the club, Kate and Rick went to the dance floor while Kate looked for Oz. Kate found him with a couple of women and an ugly looking bodyguard. Kate suppressed a smile when she saw Castle was still checking her out. She sent him after drinks and headed towards Oz.

She did her best airhead party girl imitation and Oz bought it completely. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Castle watching them. _Oz is stroking my leg, Castle. I can see you don't like it. You want your hands on me, don't you? Please want me Castle. Please want me as much as I want you. We can be so good together. Just give me a few minutes with you and then just give me a chance. _

Oz handed her the drugs and Kate slammed him forward, disabling his bodyguard with a kick. Once cuffed, Kate dragged Oz out of the club and into the waiting arms of some uniforms. Kate pulled the Ferrari's keys out. "You coming, Castle?"

A couple of blocks away from the club, Kate pulled to the curb. _This is the time to tell him. I can do this. I can. I have to._

"Why are we stopping?" Castle asked.

"We need to talk. And we have time. Oz will have to be processed and then it'll do him good to sit in interrogation for a while waiting for me."

"So what do we need to talk about?"


	5. Chapter 5

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Did I mention I don't own Castle? Rating: M, someday soon. Time: Season Three, and on into AU Land.

**Chapter Five**

Kate took a deep breath and turned to Castle. "I broke up with Josh. It wasn't working. Our jobs, our lives, it'd just never work."

He nodded. "I'm sorry to hear that. I had thought you two had a thing going. But don't worry, you'll find your guy."

_Thank you for giving me that opening, Castle. _"Actually, there's a guy that I've really, really liked for a long time and I think we'd be great together."

"Anyone I know?" He asked, in a teasing voice.

"Actually, you do."

"Will you give me hint?"

"He's in the precinct."

Castle smiled. "You're getting back together with Demming. That's great."

_Is he really this dense, or is he just messing with me? _Kate shook her head. "No, it's not Tom Demming."

Castle frowned. "I can't see you going out with Espo. I mean he's a great guy and all, but no. And not Ryan either." He snapped his fingers. "That guy in Fraud. The Irish guy. What's his name again?"

"O'Connell?" Kate gasped. "Castle, he just got married. It's you, Rick Castle."

Castle looked at her for a long moment. "Beckett, is this some kind of a joke?"

Kate was both hurt and upset by the question, but she told herself she knew this wouldn't be easy. She had spent years making things not easy between her and Castle. "It's not a joke. Why would you ask that?"

Castle shook his head slowly. "If I sat down and tried to think of one thing that Kate Beckett would never say to me, "I've really, really liked Rick Castle for a long time and I think we'd be great together.", would be right at the top of the list."

Kate nodded. "Okay. That's fair. I realize I haven't handled our relationship at all well, but I want to change that."

"Our relationship? As I recall there is no "us". There is no relationship. "Castle frowned and looked straight into Kate's eyes. "Look, Beckett. Just because you broke up with your boyfriend, and just because I'm dating Sue and I'm not with you all the time, is no reason for you to suddenly decide that we should…"

"This is not sudden!" Kate yelled at him. "It's not sudden at all. Do you remember inviting me to the Hamptons last summer?"

"Of course I do. But you went with Demming to the Jersey Shore."

"We did not!" Kate snapped.

Castle shrugged. "Okay. I thought it was the Jersey Shore, so it was someplace else. What difference does that make in…?"

"I broke up with Demming to go to the Hamptons with you. I decided then that I wanted to be with you. I decided that if you didn't come to my bed the first night we were in the Hamptons, I'd go to your bed the next night. I was going to tell you there at your going away party, but then Gina walked in and you said you were going with her, not me. You broke my heart, Castle. Yes, I know! It's my fault I got my heart broken, but now I want my heart to be whole. I want to be with you."

Castle looked at her for a long time. "Let me see if I have this straight. Twice now you've broken up with your boyfriend, twice now I've been with someone else, and twice now you've decided you want to be with me."

Kate felt like crying, but didn't. _Why does this have to be so hard?_ "No! That's not what happened at all. I've been falling in love with since before I ever met Demming and I was in love with you before I ever met Josh. I was just never able to convince myself that Rick Castle would ever want any kind of long term relationship with a broken…" Kate did begin to cry. "…obsessed…" Tears ran down Kate's cheeks. "…insecure cop. I still don't believe that you'll ever want that. That you'd want what I want, but I don't care anymore. I just want you." Kate turned away from him so he couldn't see her cry. "Ever since my mom died, I've had this wall around me to keep me safe so that I'll never be hurt like that again. But it didn't work. My wall didn't keep me from having my heart broken when you left with Gina. I know I should have told you before…Before Demming and Josh, but I didn't tell you. I'm so sorry. I'm just so sorry, Castle."

"So you expect me to just dump Sue and follow you around like a lost puppy?"

Kate shook her head, but still couldn't face Castle. "No. I don't expect that. I do realize that I've damaged our relationship too badly to expect that. I just want you to know that I'm here, that I'll always be here, and that I'll always want you and love you. And if it doesn't work out with Sue, I want you to come to me." Kate turned to Rick. She couldn't read his expression. She moved to him, her lips seeking his. As their lips touched, she felt him push her away.

"I am not going to cheat on Sue. I wouldn't cheat on you and you can't expect me to cheat on someone else."

Kate backed up. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should have known."

"Yeah. You should have known." Castle checked his watch. "We should get back to the precinct. Do Marvin's interrogation."

"Of course." Kate started the car and pulled out into traffic. "Will you be in tomorrow?"

He shook his head. "This is an awful lot to process. I won't come in tomorrow. I'll call you when I'm ready, and not before."

Castle didn't come to the precinct the next day, nor the next. Lanie, Esposito and Ryan all asked where Castle had gotten to. Everyone but Lanie had backed off when Kate had glared at them. Lanie dragged Kate off to lunch so they could talk.

"Okay, Kate. Tell me what happened."

"Nothing." Kate said, looking away for fear she'd start crying.

"Nothing? Really?"

"Really. We were alone in his car. I stopped the car and I told him how I felt. He was surprised. That should have been obvious to me. I've never done anything to make him think I liked him, let alone was in love with him."

"Whoa! Sweetie! You love him? You really love him? And you told him that?"

"I told him I was falling in love with him before Demming and way before Josh. He's deciding what to do. It doesn't take a genius to see that he isn't going to dump smart, Super Sexy Sue Keane for snarky, Nikki Heat hating, frigid Kate Beckett."

"Kate, you're going too far. I've seen the way that man looks at you, even after Detective Keane showed up. He's been crazy about you for years."

"And what has it gotten him? I remember him catching Demming and me making out in the precinct. He saw me and Will Sorenson kiss. I talked about being in bed with Josh. I think all he sees in me now is some stupid flirt who just goes after the nearest man no matter who he is. As long as it isn't Richard Castle."

"Kate, you are selling both yourself and Castle short. You'll see."

"Okay, but in the meantime, could we just not talk about this and have lunch? I really do _not_ want to talk about this right now. "

It was day three without Castle and the homicide team had learned to tread very carefully around Kate Beckett. No one knew exactly what was going on, but the absence of Rick Castle was noticed by all and commented on in quiet voices, far from Beckett.

**Author's note: Not surprisingly, there are a lot of people shipping Caskett on this, but there are some Caskeane shippers as well. Most of them don't feel Kate deserves Rick. We shall see. **


	6. Chapter 6

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I DO own Castle. Can I ever lie, or what? Rating: M, soon. Time: Season Three and on into the great, different Alternate Universe, of Casketts or Caskeanes.

**Chapter Six**

"Javi, what's going on with those two?"

Espo shrugged. "I have no idea. He hasn't been in, hasn't called and, my sources in Vice say he hasn't come in to see Black Eyed Susan. And now she's tearing around down there like she's caught whatever it is that Beckett has."

"Does Lanie know anything?"

"I think she does, but she isn't talking."

"Maybe I could go talk to her."

"If you do, make sure that she doesn't have any scalpels in her hands. She looked like she was about to slice me up good when I tried to push her on it."

"Maybe I shouldn't talk to her." Ryan thought for a second. "Should we call Castle?"

"The problem isn't Castle not talking to us, it's Castle's not talking to Beckett."

"Yeah, but I'd sure hate to see them break up because of some kind of miscommunication."

"Really, bro? Sometimes I wonder about you. I do. One, they can't break up because they've never really been together. And the problem isn't miscommunication. It's a hot blonde cop. I think Beckett knows exactly what's going on."

"Isn't there something we can do? I can't take much more of Beckett being mad at the world. Especially since she seems to thinks I'm the world."

"If I had an idea, bro, I'd mention it. But I don't."

One person was not afraid to confront Beckett.

"Detective Beckett? My office. Now."

Kate shot to her feet and strode into Captain Montgomery's office. "Yes, sir."

Montgomery waved her to a chair and she sat. He closed the door. "Are you and Castle having some sort of a problem?"

Kate thought for a second about how to answer that. It really was none of Montgomery's business. "Sir, with all due respect, I don't think my personal life is your concern."

"It is when it affects my people. Care to look at this report you've submitted?"

He passed a report to Kate. She stared at it, not really seeing anything through her anger and pain, then she froze in horror. The report was filled with misspellings. She looked at the third sentence and had no idea what she had been trying to say. Then she noticed that the second paragraph covered the same information as the first, and was equally bad. "Sir, I am so sorry. I'll fix thus right away. I'm sorry, sir. This'll never happen again. I really don't know…" Kate started to back out the door, embarrassed.

"Come back, Detective. You need to take these other reports with you." She was handed more reports. Montgomery lowered his voice. "Kate, I know there's something wrong between you and Castle and I think I know what the problem is. Can I help?"

She shook her head. "No, sir. It's all up to Castle now. But thanks for asking. I'll get these taken care of." She retreated hastily from his office.

Kate stuffed her anger and pain down as she had for so many years and concentrated on the job at hand. She worked long into the night to correct the mistakes she'd made on the reports. _If only my other mistakes were as easily corrected. I'd put in ten times the hours, no a hundred times, or a thousand times the hours to fix what went wrong with me and Castle. If only I could._

She arrived in the precinct the next morning with a cup of coffee she'd bought herself and a bear claw with cherry icing. She couldn't finish her coffee and didn't even start on the bear claw. _Maybe this is how it ends. He just walks out of my life and never comes back. Should I call him? No. He might not answer. Go to his loft? And do what? Fall apart completely in front of him, and Alexis and Martha. Oh my god! What if Sue is there? I really couldn't stand the humiliation. But I have to do something to get him back._

Kate managed to concentrate on paperwork for the morning. She noticed that Ryan and Esposito were keeping their distance from her. Even Montgomery looked away from her when he went in and out of his office. _Can I be a cop after losing Castle? Can I come here every day and see where he used to sit? Can I look at the murder board and not expect him to make up some silly theory? Or have an insight that breaks open the case? Would finding my mom's killer mean anything without him? Will anything mean anything without him?_

She missed the first ring on her phone. When she looked at the phone, her heart froze. Castle! He was calling her. "Beckett." She said shakily.

"We need to talk. Since it's about lunch time, I'm at Remy's. In the back. Can you come over?"

"I'm on my way right now. Don't move. Just don't move."

Kate hung up, grabbed her things and was headed for the elevator without telling anyone where she was going. Once in the elevator her mind began to race. _Why Remy's? Is he afraid I'll fall apart and he thinks I'll keep it together better if we're in public and in a place where cops go? Why not my place or the loft. Will he be alone or will Sue be with him? Is he at Remy's so he can go see Sue once he's dumped me? What can I do to get him back? _

Kate looked up and saw the elevator doors were open. She was at street level. She walked out of the precinct and headed for Remy's. _Whatever happens, I'll be strong. I won't cry. I won't beg. I'll remember that I want him to be happy. Even if he's happy with that blonde bimbo._

Kate was at the door of Remy's. She straightened up, pushed her hair back and walked inside. She walked to the back and saw Castle sitting at a booth all the way in the back. There was no one near him. She walked over. The booth was C-shaped and was built for four people, but the only place settings were at either end of the booth. One for Castle and one for her. She sat.

"Do you mind if I move closer to you?" She asked, surprised at how calm her voice sounded.

"If you want to." He motioned for her to move and she scooted along the booth.

"Castle, I'm so sorry for the way I've been. Ever since my mom died…"

"Hi, Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle. What can I get for you today?" A waitress was standing there, looking at Kate expectantly.

"I'm not hungry. Just a cup of coffee, please."

Castle put his menu down. "Well, I'm hungry. I'll have the double chili cheeseburger with the garlic fries and a chocolate shake."

The waitress smiled and left.

"Castle, I know…"

"Kate, let me speak, please."

Kate nodded. _This is it. _

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about us. Our relationship. And my relationship with Sue. Where we are now and where each relationship is going. I talked with Sue about this and she thinks you're just acting selfishly. She says that you've had Richard Castle on your own terms for so long that you can't accept anything else. I have to admit that she could be right."

"Castle, I have been selfish. I've taken you for granted for far too long and I want to change. I need to change. Please…"

"Kate. Please let me finish. You know, it's odd that you say you've been selfish. But I would trust you with my life in a heartbeat. I just don't know if I can trust you with my heart. And there's no safe way for me to know for certain. There's only one thing I can do."

_Here it comes._ Kate thought.

**Author's note: For the guest with a quibble. No, I clearly wrote in Chapter 4 that she was driving Castle's Ferrari to the club to meet Oz. **

**Another author's note: I've mentioned that I've already completed this story, but I can't help thinking that this would be a good place to stop and add a few chapters to see how others are doing. How's Josh doing off in Africa? How's he handling the break up with Kate? And how about Demming? He just sort of disappeared. What's he doing? And we haven't heard a word from Martha and Alexis. And Perlmutter? No one writes about Perlmutter. Could there be Beckmutter?**

**What do you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If you own Castle, I hope you don't mind my borrowing the characters. Rating: M, soon. Time: Season Three, now well into AU.

**Chapter Seven**

"I broke up with Sue two days ago."

Kate froze, not sure that she had heard correctly. "You broke up with Sue?"

"Yeah. She has a lot of good qualities. In some ways more than you do, but I could never base the heroine of a best-selling series of novels on her. I could only have done that with you, the remarkable Kate Beckett. She could never be Nikki Heat and she could never be Kate Beckett."

"Oh my god!" Kate felt like she was about to cry.

"Beckett, this doesn't mean we're a couple. It means we're going to try to be a couple and see if it'll work out. I'm still not sure I can trust my heart to you. I want to, but I'm not convinced that I can,"

Kate threw both of her arms around his neck and kissed him. She pulled back to whisper, "You can. You can." Then kissed him, sliding her tongue along his lip. Her tongue slid inside his mouth and she reveled in the taste of him. She put her hand on his thigh and began moving it upwards.

"Who gets the coffee?"

They broke the kiss. Kate blushed furiously, but Castle just grinned. "The lady gets the coffee. The rest is for me."

Kate suddenly realized something. "Rick? From now on I have to be one hundred percent honest with you."

Rick stopped in mid-bite. "And?"

"I lied to you." She saw him wince. "Well, actually, I lied to the waitress. I've felt so horrible for the last four days that I couldn't eat. But all of a sudden, I'm starving."

Castle laughed. "Should I call the waitress back?"

"Could I just have some of yours, please?" She looked at him through her eyelashes.

Castle took his knife and fork and cut off some hamburger, bun and chili. He lifted it to Kate's mouth. She opened her mouth and he carefully fed her.

"Let me help you." She grabbed her own knife and fork and fed Rick.

He picked up a French fry, dipped it in the chili and fed it to her. Noticing a bit of chili sauce was on her lip, he reached over and kissed it away.

"You did that intentionally." She said, trying to sound accusatory.

"Kissed you? I certainly did."

"Turn about is fair play." She whispered, then gently kissed him.

Lunch took a great deal longer than usual, but neither Kate nor Rick cared. Finally, however, it was over.

"Time to go solve some murders, Detective?"

Kate nodded. "There's really nothing but paperwork, I'm afraid. I know you don't like that, but perhaps we'll get a body drop and…."

"I haven't been around the homicide squad for a while. And when I was, I haven't paid as close attention to my friends as I should. Shall we go?"

Kate took his hand. "Castle, don't get this wrong. But I don't think we should act any different than usual back at the precinct." Seeing the look on his face, she hurried on. "There's an NYPD rule against colleagues dating. I know Montgomery would never make an issue of it, but there are others that might."

"Blonde others?" Castle asked, grinning.

Kate thought about it and nodded. "Yes, Sue, possibly. I've heard rumors in other parts of the precinct that you're some sort of a spy for the mayor, or something. There are people, not in homicide who can't figure out why a best selling author would hang around with the police for so long. "

"Ahem! That's ruggedly handsome, best selling author."

"Of course. How could I have forgotten? But there are other people, mostly in other precincts, who are jealous of you and of the 12th. They think we get too much credit for just doing our jobs because we have a ruggedly handsome, best selling author working with us. They might try to make an issue of our relationship with One PP. I can't lose you now."

Castle nodded slowly. "Okay, I can see the point you're making. So, we should have no trouble being our normal selves at work. Let's get back to work."

Castle and Beckett went back to the 12th. He sat in his usual chair while she worked on her computer. Epsosito, Ryan and Roz Karpowski noticed the two come back.

"Mom and Dad are back together." Ryan said.

"Whatever they had for lunch must have been good." Espo added.

"Yeah. I'll have what she had." Roz said with a smirk.

"I don't think it's on the menu." Ryan replied.

"Still…A girl can dream."

Castle stayed for several hours, then looked at his watch. Kate noticed that, but decided to say nothing.

"So, did DMB ever take you to the Jade Pagoda?" Castle suddenly asked.

"No. We never got there."

"We can't have that. You must go to the Jade Pagoda. How about tonight? If you haven't eaten in four days, you must still be hungry."

"I'd love to go. But aren't you afraid we'll end up on Page Six?"

"I'll tell you a secret. I take Alexis there a lot. She loves the place. But I don't want her ending up on Page Six or worse, in one of those awful gossip web sites. So, the management lets us sit in a little alcove that the public can't see. We can even go through the back through the kitchen, if you'd like. Although I really want to be able to show you off."

"What time?" Kate asked, smiling.

"Eight?"

"I'll be ready."

Kate left soon after Castle did. As she left she didn't notice Captain Montgomery watching her as she left. _Thank god my best homicide team is back together again. One of these days when I'm sure they're really, really together, I'm going to chew their asses for being so damned foolish. Her for pushing him away and him for not telling her how he felt. Not that everyone in the whole damned precinct didn't know how they felt about each other. How the hell could those two have missed it for so long? _Montgomery shook his head and went back to his desk. _They'd damn well get it right this time. I'm getting too old for this shit. _

Kate rushed home to get ready. She did her makeup and hair, then, once again got out her sexiest underwear and the same dress she had been going to wear for Josh at the Jade Pagoda. Once dressed, she checked herself in the mirror. _This is what you're missing and what Castle is getting tonight, Josh. I hope your Africa trip makes you as happy as I would have. _She thought for just a moment that Josh would be happier in Africa than with her, then dismissed the thought. _ I don't care about Josh. Just Castle. I know I've screwed up with him previously, but not now. Not any more. So, fuck you, Josh. And in a friendlier way, fuck you Castle. Tonight I hope._

A few minutes before eight there was a knock at her door.

She ran to the door and threw it open. This time her date was there, dressed in a suit and smiling at her. "Ready to go, Kate?"

She nodded, then stood on her toes to kiss him. "Just let me get my purse."

He was standing by the door when she came back. He smiled at her and then kissed her. "You are absolutely gorgeous."

"You're looking good, too." She said, smiling.

He drove to the Jade Pagoda and they managed to go in the front door without anyone noticing. In seconds they had been whisked away to a secluded booth where the general public couldn't see them. Kate sat as close to him as she could as they looked at the menus. Castle described the various items to her and told her what he had liked on his previous trips to the Jade Pagoda. As he talked, she took his hand and placed it on the inside of her thigh, sliding it up to the middle of her thigh.

"Are we starting with dessert?" He teased.

She very solemnly shook her head. "This is an appetizer. Dessert, as usual, will be after the meal." She pushed herself up off of the booth's cushion to kiss him, allowing his hand to travel to the top of her thigh. _I wish I had left my panties off tonight. Although if I had, we'd probably end up making love in front of the waitress. It'll be better if we make love for the first time in a bed. _

The dinner seemed to take forever to Beckett, although she loved Chinese food and the food was the very best Chinese she'd ever had. But soon, they were back in Castle's car.

"Anyplace you'd like to go?" He asked.

"Who's at your loft?"

"No one. Alexis is at a sleep over, and my mother is at…A sleep over as well."

Kate giggled, something Castle had never heard before. "The loft then?"

"The loft it is."


	8. Chapter 8

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: Rather proclaim it through my host, that he who owneth Castle may have this back if he wants it. I own Castle not. Rating: M. Time: Season Three AU.

**Chapter Eight **

Once there, Kate wasted no time. Taking Castle's hand she led him to the bedroom. She stopped, undid the zipper of her dress and let it slide to the floor. Her bra and panties quickly followed. She sprawled on the bed, spreading her legs as widely as possible. She looked up to see Castle was still fully dressed.

"Are you sure about this, Kate?"

"Castle, I'm naked on your bed with my legs spread as wide as I can get them. Do I look like a woman who isn't sure about this?" Kate arched her back, causing her boobs to roll around on her chest.

He still didn't move, not sure if Kate would regret this later.

Kate rolled onto her knees and took Castle's hands in hers. "If you want me to get on the floor, on my hands and knees and beg you, I will, Castle." She started to move but he stopped her.

"You'll never have to beg me for anything, ever, Beckett."

She laid back down on the bed, again spreading her legs.

Castle nodded and began to undress, quickly.

He lay down beside her on the bed and pulled her to him. Castle kissed her very gently, running his hand over her bare shoulder. "You are so beautiful. "He whispered, then kissed her again.

She reached down and grasped his erection. "Castle…Rick, that's not what I want. Slow and sensual will come later. I want you inside me right now. I've been waiting years for this and I can't wait another second. "She pulled him on top of her and guided him inside of her. "Hard and fast, lover. Hard and fast. I feel like I'm about to come already."

Castle obliged her, pumping into her as fast and as hard as he could. Kate locked her arms around his shoulders, then crossed her long legs over his hips. She bounced her ass up and down on the bed as fast as she could.

She began to moan in his ear. "This is what I need Castle. This is what I want. You, fucking me. This is the best, lover. Oh, fuck, Castle. I'm coming already. So long. So fucking long. So good. Castle." The last word was drawn out and coincided with Castle exploding inside her.

"I love you so much, Castle." She whispered in his ear. Castle gently kissed her in return. _He won't say that he loves me. He still doesn't know if he can trust me with his heart. But I can tell him and show him how I feel. _"I do love you Castle. I do." She whispered.

Castle smiled at her and began to explore her body. He ran his hands over her face, then moved to her neck and then down to her shoulders. He gently stroked her boobs, noticing that her nipples stiffened at once. He moved his hand won over her stomach, teasing her navel before moving to her now wet slit.

"You are so amazingly beautiful." He said, sliding a finger inside of her.

She gasped and reached for him, finding him erect again. "And you're ruggedly handsome." She whispered. Kate almost asked how she compared with Sue Keane, but refrained. _He's here with me now. That's all I need to know._

Castle rested his head on her chest and began kissing her boobs while running two fingers in and out of her.

"Castle, this is so good. Keep it up, lover. I love this. I love you."

Castle brought her almost to a climax, then rolled onto and into her. He used long, slow strokes to bring her to another orgasm.

She lay there in his arms for a long while, feeling safe and comfortable. "Castle, can I stay with you tonight?"

"I'd like to see you try to leave."

"Okay, but I have to get up early so I can go home and change. I can't come to work in the same clothes."

"Would you like to leave a few things here?"

"Would that be okay?"

"That would be far more than okay. That would be spectacular, magnificent, awe inspiring, wonderful."

Kate giggled, something Castle was finding he liked. "Okay. I'll bring a few things over after work tomorrow. I only own a small suitcase, so I won't take up too much room."

After work the next day, Kate went home, stuffed as much as she could into her suitcase and went to Castle's loft.

He met her at the door with a kiss, and took her into his bedroom. "I cleared a few things out of my closet so you'll have some room." He said as he opened the closet.

Kate stopped dead in front of the closet. "Castle. Half of your closet is empty."

He put his arms around her and kissed her neck. "I wanted you to have plenty of room."

_He wants me here. He wants me in his life. _She thought. "Thank you. But what I have won't fill more than a little bit of the closet."

"I have a couple of really big suitcases." He suggested. "I'd hate for you to want a pair of jeans or something and not have them here."

"I suppose I could move a few more things over here." She turned in his arms and kissed him.

Before things went any further, the front door opened and Martha and Alexis came in. "Richard? We're home. Are you here?"

"Perhaps you could bring a few things to my place and stay the night?" She whispered.

"I'd love to." Rick turned around, took Kate's hand and walked into the living room. "Guess who's here?"

"Richard, Kate is standing right there. Do we really need to guess?"

"I could have Beyoncé staying in the guest bedroom, you know."

"Do you?" Alexis asked, hopefully.

"Your father is teasing you, dear. He wouldn't dare bring another woman here with Kate here."

Kate blushed and Rick put his arm around her, lightly kissing her cheek. "I wouldn't bring another woman here because no other woman could possibly compete with the remarkable Kate Beckett."

That made Kate blush even more.

After dinner, Rick waited until Alexis was safely in her room doing her homework until quickly packing a suitcase and grabbing Kate.

"Have fun, you two." Martha called to them as they headed for the door of the loft.

Kate blushed again, and again Rick put his arm around her and kissed her. "How could I not have fun with Kate?"

This time she kissed him back. "And Castle is more fun than a barrel of monkeys." As Rick smiled, she added. "And almost as much trouble." Castle did his best to glare at her, but his glares paled in comparison to Kate's.

Once outside in the hallway, waiting for the elevator, Kate asked him a question. "Why don't you want Alexis to know you're taking some clothes to my place? She's a teenaged girl and she knows…"

Castle put his hands over his ears. "No! I don't want to know what Alexis knows, even though I do know she knows it. Let me have my fantasy, please?"

"If you get your fantasy, does that mean I get one of mine?" She asked in a low, sexy voice.

"What did you have in mind?" He asked, smiling.

"You'll find out."

Once at Kate's apartment, Rick quickly put away his things, then stood back, looking at the closet. "Okay, I think I'll buy some toiletries and such to keep here and some for my loft. But I really think we have to consider the logistics of this."

"The logistics?" Kate asked, unsure of what he meant.

"If this keeps up, all of your clothes will be at my place and all of mine will be here."

"Do you have a plan?"

Castle thought. "Bring most of your work clothes to the loft and just a few of your nicer things. If you get a call in the middle of the night, you won't want to have to come back here to change and if we're going someplace nice, you shouldn't have any trouble getting back here to change. If you do have trouble, you'll have something at the loft."

"And you?" She asked.

"I'll do the same."

Kate hooked a finger into his shirt. "Castle, are we going to go anyplace nice? You're a local celebrity and…"Kate saw the look on his face. "…That is, you're a world famous celebrity and we don't want the NYPD to find out about us, so…?"

Castle frowned. "Good thinking. I'll have to think of something. We can't always try to sneak into the Jade Pagoda."

"Okay, but now I think it's time for my fantasy, okay?" She whispered in his ear.

"What did you have in mind?" He whispered back.

"Strip, lie down on the bed and wait for me. I'll just be in the bathroom for a second."

Castle did as she asked and in a few minutes, Kate came out as naked as he was. However, she had her hands behind her back.

Castle smiled. "Do you have something for me?"

"In a way." Kate said. She turned around to show Castle that she had handcuffed her hands behind her back. She backed to the nightstand and dropped the key, then knelt carefully on the bed. She leaned forward and rested her head on his stomach. She inched forward and took his erection into her mouth. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, she used her tongue and lips to get him off. When he exploded in her mouth, she smiled to herself.

As she wriggled to lie next to him, he moved her onto her stomach. "Do you want to spank me? Or did you have something kinkier in mind?" She wiggled her ass.

Castle reached over her and grabbed the key, unlocking the cuffs.

"Did I do something wrong?" She asked softly.

"No. I did. I let you do this. I know how much you hate not being in control…"

"I did this to show you I want you to be in control of me. I want to change, Rick. I don't want to be the old me. I want to be yours. All yours."

He kissed her. "And I want you to be Kate Beckett. I don't want you trying to be something or someone you're not. And I want your full and eager cooperation when we make love. Okay?"

She smiled. "Could I get on top, then?"

"Ride 'em, cowgirl."


	9. Chapter 9

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

**Chapter Nine**

Disclaimer: Really? Again? Rating: M, but not now. Time: Season Three, but AU.

The next murder took a lot out of Castle, as the victim was the wife of an old friend, Damian Westlake. Kate had a great deal of trouble keeping Castle from jumping onto every suspect except his old friend, which drove Kate crazy, although she struggled mightily not to show it.

She had gone to see Damian Westlake without Castle and was returning to the precinct. As she was entering, Detective Sue Keane was leaving. Kate almost didn't recognize her. She was dressed in a conservative grey pants suit, with a white ruffled shirt showing no cleavage at all. Her hair was pulled back in a bun and she had almost no makeup on. She smiled at Kate. "Good afternoon, Detective Beckett."

Kate mumbled something in response, wondering what that was all about.

Arriving at the bullpen, Kate saw Ryan and Esposito huddled at Ryan's desk with grim expressions on their faces. Looking around she saw that Castle was in Captain Montgomery's office. The door was closed.

"What's going on?"

"Detective Keane was just in here. You missed her by about ten minutes." Ryan said.

"I ran into her coming into the precinct. She seemed awfully happy."

"She was in talking to the captain. We don't know what she said, 'cause the door was closed, but neither of them looked happy. As soon as she left, he called Castle in. We haven't heard a damned thing." Espo said angrily.

"At least Castle isn't screaming at anyone, and neither is Captain Montgomery."

Before Kate could answer Ryan, the captain motioned for her to come into his office.

"Sit down, Detective Beckett. I've been talking to Mr. Castle about him, you and Detective Keane."

Kate did not like the sound of Roy calling her by her title and last name, referring to Rick as Mr. Castle and she didn't like anything about Detective Keane.

Captain Montgomery went on. "Detective Keane has advised me that you and Mr. Castle are in a relationship and that that would seem to violate the department's prohibition on colleagues dating."

"_She_ said that?" Kate exploded. "Sir, she's been…." Kate stopped, not wanting to discuss in any detail Castle's relationship with that blonde.

"I told Detective Keane that Mr. Castle is not an employee of the NYPD, or of any government agency, and that I couldn't see how the prohibition could apply to him. And that, further, if she made an issue of it and One PP decided Mr. Castle was in some way a colleague, she'd be in more trouble that anyone. Detective Keane saw my point and said that it would be best not to make an issue of it."

Both Kate and Rick sighed in relief.

"However," Roy went on, "Detective Keane has brought charges of sexual harassment against Mr. Castle. Quite serious charges."

Both Kate and Rick began yelling, so much so that Roy couldn't tell what either of them were saying. Soon, both calmed down.

"If I may continue?" Roy asked. "You two know that I'm not just here because of my good looks and charming personality. I'm the captain of this precinct so I keep an eye on everything in my precinct. I've been talking to Lieutenant Pontiakowski, who runs Vice. He's of the opinion that Mr. Castle has been a perfect gentleman concerning Detective Keane. I also talked to Detective Alice Dodgson, also in Vice."

Kate nodded. Although Dodgson was twenty four years old, no one ever believed she was more than fourteen or fifteen. While this made her social life hell, it did make her useful in catching a certain type of creep who preyed on under aged girls.

Montgomery continued. "Detective Dodgson has informed me that a number of times Detective Keane has bragged to her, and other police women, about her…liaison with Mr. Castle and she always maintained that what they did was fully consensual. The details Dodgson provided are quite…"Montgomery looked up at Kate, then looked away before continuing. "Are quite detailed."

Roy smiled coldly. "I'll be having Detectives Keane and Dodgson, and Lieutenant Pontiakowski here tomorrow at eight AM to discuss this. I suggest you two not be here until later. About lunch time, okay?"

"Thank you, sir." Kate said.

"For what? I just did my job."

"Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy." Kate said as the detectives took Damian Westlake away for the decades old murder of his father.

"F. Scott Fitzgerald." Castle nodded. "Or you could quote Gregory "Pappy" Boyington, "Show me a hero and I'll show you a bum."

"Boyington?" Kate asked. The name sounded familiar.

"Hero. World War Two Medal of Honor winner. Had problems with alcohol after the war, multiple divorces, etc. I guess he was one of those people who function well in a life or death situation, but can't handle the routine, day to day of peacetime."

"Can't handle the routine? Who does that remind me of?" Kate teased.

"I set you up for that one, didn't I?"

"So, how about I buy you a drink?"

Castle thought for a second. "How about we go to your place, have a drink, and…discuss literature, or history?"

"Or something else?"

"Or something else." He agreed.

When they got home, Kate discovered that there was a white strand of yarn running from the interior doorknob into her kitchen. "What's this?" She looked at Castle suspiciously.

"Why I have no idea, Detective Beckett?" He said, doing his best to look innocent.

Kate followed the yarn to a drawer in her kitchen. Inside the drawer was a small, blue jewelry box.

"Happy Valentine's Day." He whispered in her ear.

She opened it and drew in a breath quickly. "Castle! These are…"

"Not as extraordinary as you are." He finished.

She held up the diamond earrings, smiling and tearing up. "And I didn't get you anything. I forgot. Oh, Castle…"

"What can you get the man who has everything?" He shrugged. "Well, not everything, but once you have Kate Beckett, everything else pales to insignificance."

Kate hugged him and kissed him. "Thank you. But where will I wear them? We can't go out anyplace without being recognized."

Castle cleared his throat and pointed to a red strand of yarn, leading from her kitchen to her bedroom. Kate followed the trail of yarn to a box on her bed. She picked it up and opened it. "A bikini?" Kate giggled. "You don't have to try to see me in a bikini, Castle. You've seen me in nothing at all. Wasn't that good enough for you?"

Castle smiled at her and pointed to the foot of her bed. A strand of yellow yarn led from there into her bathroom. She followed the yarn. At the end of the yarn, she found an envelope. "What's this?"

"Airline tickets. Two tickets to Cancun, Mexico. Where we have a luxury suite waiting for us. We leave in two days for two weeks."

Kate was shocked. "Castle, I can't just walk away from my job. I have…"

"…had no vacation for years." He finished for her. "I talked to Montgomery and he's thrilled to let you have the time off. Now, start packing, Beckett. And don't worry if there's something you need and you don't have it. We'll buy it in Cancun."

Kate moved the bikini off of her bed and began undressing. "Okay, but first I need to give you your Valentine's Day present."


	10. Chapter 10

The Girlfriend

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. No, really. I even asked my wife. Rating: M, in parts, but not now. Time: Season Three, but AU.

**Chapter Ten**

After their vacation, Rick and Kate continued to solve murders, saving New York and perhaps the world in the process, but their next murder was somewhat easier, solving a murder on the set of a soap opera.

"Very good, Castle." Beckett said, giving him a surreptitious hug as they walked from the elevator to the bullpen.

"I'm a writer. I know how to trap a murderous writer. Not that I could have done it without my muse, partner, best friend, and lover."

"You're a ruggedly handsome and world famous writer." Kate whispered to him. "But who are those four people? Do you have other girlfriends on the side?" She teased.

"Never."

The conversation suddenly stopped as they almost ran into Detectives Keane and Dodgson, exiting Captain Montgomery's office. All four stopped, not sure what to do. Keane was glaring at Rick, doing almost as good a glare as Kate. Close, but no cigar.

Dodgson, the Vice detective who looked like a teenaged girl, looked embarrassed and unsure of what to do.

"You'll fuck anything, won't you, Castle?" Keane said quietly. "Even this skinny, flat chested slut."

Kate tensed and started to take a step towards Keane. She felt Castle's arm lock around her waist and pull her against him.

"We need to go, Sue. Now." Dodgson hissed. "This'll end badly if we don't. You've already been suspended for a week for complaining about Castle." She put her hand on Keane's arm and tried to maneuver her to the elevator.

"I know all about ending badly with this asshole and his two bit whore." Keane snapped, shoving Dodgson away. "I'd like to know, what do you think about when you're banging this one, Castle?"

"The same thing I thought about when I was banging you. I thought about being with Kate." Castle said softly with a friendly smile, as if he and Kate hadn't been insulted. He could feel Kate relax ever so slightly.

Castle turned to get away from his ex-girlfriend, and never saw the fist that headed for Kate's face. Kate ducked back and Castle took Keane's punch on his ear. He went down, falling into Dodgson and taking her with him. They both hit the floor. Kate pivoted and kicked Keane's knee as hard as she could. Keane buckled and Kate slammed her fist into the blonde's stomach repeatedly.

"What the hell is going on here?" Captain Montgomery roared, shooting out of his office.

Keane was on her knees, gasping for breath, but she pointed to Kate. "She hit me."

Montgomery turned to Kate. "Well, Detective Beckett."

"Detective Keane insulted both Castle and me. When we tried to walk away, she threw a punch at me, missed and hit Castle. I was defending the two of us."

Kate suddenly realized that Castle had gone down. She looked at her feet, to see Castle all tangled up with Detective Dodgson, who looked more like a teenaged girl than ever.

"I'm okay." Castle said, trying to stand up. He noticed Dodgson. "I'm sorry, little girl. Let me help you up." Castle had managed to get to his knees.

Dodgson looked up disgustedly. "Beckett, tell your boyfriend that if he ever calls me a little girl again, I'll tie a knot in his dick."

"Ryan, Esposito! " Montgomery barked. "What did you see?"

"Keane definitely threw the first punch, sir." Espo said.

"We couldn't hear what went before." Ryan added.

"Right! Kiss your boss's ass and lie." Keane snapped.

"There are two security cameras that should have covered everything." Montgomery said. "Esposito, get Tory Ellis here now. I want those videos and I want them now." He turned back to Kate and Keane. "You two get out of here. I'll deal with this when I've studied the videos. Castle, Dodgson, you're out of here as well."

Rick and Kate let Keane and Dodgson go to the elevator first. "I've never had a beautiful woman fight for me before." He whispered in her ear.

"I've never had a man I wanted to fight for before." She whispered back. "If anybody ever tries anything with you, that's just a sample."

Castle looked around. "Speaking of trying something, would that….young lady really, um, tie a knot…um, there?"

Kate laughed. "Dodgson is a Vice cop, but one I like. And yes, she's as tough as nails in spite of her looks. Why, we're you thinking of trying something with her?"

"Never."

The elevator door opened and the two left.

The next morning Castle and Beckett arrived in the homicide bull pen and were immediately called into Montgomery's office. "The videos confirm that Keane threw the first punch. Detective Keane will be disciplined and transferred to another precinct. While detective Keane is an outstanding vice cop, she's had…issues in her previous assignments."

"What kind of issues?" Castle asked.

"The kind I can't discuss with anyone outside of official channels, Castle. You should know that." Montgomery glared at the two. "She may just complain about the two of you dating, even if it also implicates her."

"Sir, what will happen?"

"I talked to one of the police unions attorneys. He assures me that there is no way Castle can be considered your colleague within the meaning of the NYPD regs. There may be some low level complaints, but nothing I can't handle. Now, get out of here and don't cause me any more trouble."

They got out.

The worst murder they had to investigate was the death of Captain Montgomery. When they arrived back at Kate's apartment after Montgomery's funeral, Kate who had been so stoic, now just stood in her living room in her blues, tears pouring down her face. Rick walked her slowly to her bedroom and together they lay on the bed as she sobbed.

Castle held her and gently stroked her hair, telling her things would be all right, eventually.

Eventually, Kate's tears stopped.

"Kate, honey?"

"Yes?" She hugged Rick. "Thank you. For everything. I love you, Castle. I really do."

"I love you, too."

In spite of the heartbreak she had just experienced, Kate was thrilled. _He loves me. He really loves me._ "You do? You love me? You love me again?"

"I love you still. I've been in love with you for forever. And I always will love you." He kissed her softly and she began to cry again, but these were tears of joy.

"I have something to tell you. I got a call from a friend of Montgomery's yesterday."

"Who?"

"I don't know. He didn't give his name. But he said Roy sent him some documents that would destroy the man who ordered your mom's murder. He contacted the man and told him that if anything happens to you, he'll go public with Roy's information."

"How do we find this man? How do we get the information?" Kate asked.

"We don't. That's part of the deal Roy's friend made. You stay alive but you can't investigate your mom's case. Ever."

"Like hell!" Kate said, sitting up. "Who's going to stop me?"

"That's my job."

She pulled away from Castle. "What? Castle, you made a deal for my life, like I'm some kind of child? No! That's totally unacceptable."

"Kate, I didn't make the deal, Roy Montgomery did. What was I supposed to do when Roy called me? Say, "Sorry, Roy. I'm sorry you're going to die, make your wife a widow and leave your children fatherless, all to keep Kate Beckett alive, but I can't help you. Good luck in your next life?"

"Castle, you could have…" Kate stopped. She wasn't sure what Castle could have done. If Roy Montgomery was determined to die rather than live in disgrace…

"I could have done what I'm doing now. Telling you about it. I know you'll never stop looking for your mom's killer. But, Montgomery was right. You'll go straight at this guy with no thought for yourself or the people who love you. I won't let that happen. You'll never give up trying to solve your mom's case, and neither will I. We do it together. We do it carefully. And I keep you alive. After all we've gone through these past years, I will not lose you. Ever!"

"Together?" Kate asked quietly.

"Together." Castle told her. "Always."

**THE END**

**Author's note: Now that The Girlfriend is done, I'm back to the After….series. Up tomorrow will be After Suicide Squeeze.**

**A further author's note: I did write this quickly to cover the holidays when I wouldn't be writing the After…stories, but I do have an idea or two for more of this. We shall see. But first, back to the After…stories. **


End file.
